As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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