K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
