you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
