I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
