i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This baby is an asshole
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I enjoy the company of your penis
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
