i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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