East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
