Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
