What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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