I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
