Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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