I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
