i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I think I won the penis lottery.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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