I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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