In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
