I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
