Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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