so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize