I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
