I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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