is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Every concussion has its silver lining
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
