we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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