You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
