haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
