Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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