im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
