My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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