i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
