if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
