I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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