this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
