is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize