called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
