and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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