I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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