been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
