I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize