kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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