his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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