i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
