I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
