can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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