You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
