Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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