It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize