I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
