I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
