roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
