a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
