the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
