You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize
