You just made me feel so damn special
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
