This house was built for laser tag.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
