let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
