i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
