Do you still have your period?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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