I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
