i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize