I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
