I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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