is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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