She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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