I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
