Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
