hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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