That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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