You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize