Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize