Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
