i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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