You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
