just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
