I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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