the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My balls are so social today.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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