my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
