their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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