thus making me awesome and them whores
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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