ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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