Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
cat food counts as protein by the way
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize