I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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